I AM NOT CRAZY.OR MAYBE I AM!Bipolar

Fair winds and following seas.From birth that's what I do believe every parent and anyone wishes upon a child.Look up kid and upon a star to have a bright aura as it.Couple memory loss and misplaced concentration accompanied by half finished chores got me some serious spanking from my ever loving mother.

The 9th year of me seeing the sun now brought to light what might have been the problem with the kid who cried like never.Picked a red hot charcoal Iron and pressed it on my sister's back then threw it outside like it was a casual thing. Jeffrey Dahmer type of behaviour I know.My mum was to kill me cause to hell and it's freezing time she was a strict disciplinarian.To my horror(yes)she didn't do anything,just rushed my sister to treatment Bay.

One week later we was in this room full of puzzle thingy and an elephant size of a lady saying things like he should start treatment cause it's getting worse.My mum told her how I only cried the first two months nonstop then I never opened my tear can again.Years passed,pills to check the young kids emotions,but were they really treating my problem.

I am this ever happy kid,brown teethed boy with a wide smile and sweet aura that had people around him at all times.Attention become my pill,wanted to be a rockstar in everything I did.Joined Rugby and ooh my star was getting super when one day it all came crushing down.Years of things bottling inside finally caught with me,I didn't know wassup.A 4 month comma(many thought it was my rugby injury) but a later day follow up brought the effect of the emotion controlling pills had on my nerve system.

Met nurse Gorgina after my miraculous wake up.This friend warm lady walked me towards understanding what was wrong with me.She started with  ADHD blah blah blah Bipolar talk and at the back of my head I was like man I am about to pick market trash.I always wanted to be a genius but not a crazy bustard who counts his imaginary goals on the streets.She said things like lithium injection and tegratol prescription to help me balance.The terms were getting worse and worse as I continued to visit her office;She started with the depression type then when she said I am predominantly manic I was like “hii imeenda”.My greatest fear was just confirmed, Maniac or manic man I was officially a mad man.No tears to show but I was being teared apart inside.

A 7 year journey now.A BIPOLAR victim.Riding the waves of victimization when they don't even understand.People do judge even if you are just happy.Misconception and self doubt.What you know about mental health when you off the meds:Joyner Lucas.It's a fight I ain't loosing.They say I am Crazy but maybe they are.A bipolar maths student and a professional rugby player, can't picture anything perfect more than that.

FAIR WINDS AND FOLLOWING SEAS

Masinga the Sik Dokta